The Captain's Blog

Merry Christmas, yo.

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 01:20:30 GMT

I was going to post the remainder of Santa Claus vs the Martians today, but instead the whole book got posted, along with extensive annotations, at ComicsAlliance. Check it out!

FREE COMIC

If you guys would like, I can post the full size pages tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Even more Santa Claus vs the Martians

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 03:17:58 GMT

If you'll recall, I have been posting pages from Santa Claus vs the Martians here due to the fact that the print version of the book has been delayed a year.

Part one is here.
Part two is here.
Part three is here.

Now here's part four, wherein Father Christmas has an existential crisis and subsequently raises the dead.

The finale of chapter one on Friday!

Yet more Santa Claus vs the Martians

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 03:31:36 GMT

Hello.

I have been posting the first issue of Santa Claus vs the Martians for free on internet, because of problems.

Part one is here.
Part two is here.

VVV Part three is here. VVV

Story by me (Benito Cereno), art by James Harren, letters by Ed Brisson.

More Santa Claus vs the Martians

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:50:07 GMT

As I mentioned the other day, we hit some unforeseen complications, and our four-part Christmas sci-fi epic Santa Claus vs the Martians will actually hit shelves NEXT Christmas.

But I wanted to share some of it with you, so between now and Christmas, I will be posting some pages.

Part one is here.

Here's part two. Story by me (Benito Cereno), art by James Harren, letters by Ed Brisson:

If you have enjoyed what you have seen so far, the number one thing you can to do help us out is spread the word! Share this link on your Twitter, blog, Tumblr, Facebook, whatev.

(The number two thing you can do is click that donation button and give me some money to buy presents.)

Santa Claus vs. the Martians

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 22:55:21 GMT

So, due to some unforeseen circumstances, Santa Claus vs. the Martians has been delayed and will not hit stores until next Christmas. However, because too much hard work went into the book for you not to see what's been done, I've decided to share some of the book with you.

From now until Christmas, I will upload some pages from the book, lettered but mostly uncolored, and then probably take them down after the holidays. So if you like what you see, tell your friends now, because it won't last forever.

So here you go. The first seven pages of issue one.

Story by me (Benito Cereno), art by James Harren, letters by Ed Brisson.

Upcoming from New England Comics

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 20:20:32 GMT

(W) Benito Cereno (A) Les McClaine The Tick wants a pet and to prove to Arthur he can handle the responsibility, he volunteers to baby-sit for other pet-owning super-heroes. But, as can only happen in The City, those super-heroes have out-of-town business - all at once - leaving The Tick 'in charge' of a wild menagerie of strange super-pets who decide that 'when the owner's away, the pets will play!' Can The Tick and Arthur regain control over 'animals gone wild' before The City is turned into a wilderness itself?

AND SUPER IMPORTANTLY:

(W) Benito Cereno (A) Les McClaine The first 6 issues of the new and critically-acclaimed Tick series from the fertile minds of Benito Cereno and Les McClaine are collected for the first time! You will meet a whole new cast of characters like The Scarf Ace, Deperadoe, and the ever lethal Sewer Mimes to name but a few. Plus many other all-new wacky Tick exploits that are sure to be instant classics! All initial orders of this book will be signed and numbered by the whole New Series crew!

SO! If you are one of those people who have been telling me you're just waiting on the trade for this book, time to nut up or shut up! Here it is.

I would prefer you support local business and pre-order this from your local comic shop, in which case the order number for this book is DEC101018. It is on page 285 of the Previews catalog! Only pre-ordered editions will be signed and numbered!

If you are one of those people whose comic shops hate money and will refuse to order a book someone specifically asks for, look at all these goddamn places you can buy it online, AT A DISCOUNT:

HOLY SHIT LET ME GOOGLE THAT FOR YOU

So let's do this, okay? Okay.

Upcoming from Dark Horse

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 20:04:44 GMT

So this is how I am accidentally going to be published by Dark Horse:

THE ADVENTURES OF DR. MCNINJA: NIGHT POWERS
Chris Hastings (W/A), Benito Cereno (W), and Les McClaine (P)
On sale Apr 20
FC, 232 pages
$19.99
TPB, 7" x 10"
What's better than an evil unicorn motorcycle, monster gang wars, a tennis match against a god of destruction, and bandidos on velociraptors?
…Yeah, we couldn't think of anything, either!
Award-winning cartoonist Chris Hastings teams up with Dark Horse Books to bring his smash-hit webcomic to print with the first three full-color story arcs of Dr. McNinja, as well as an exclusive-to-print story by Benito Cereno and Les McClaine.
• Collects "Monster Mart," "Death Volley," and "Doc Gets Rad" (previously published at www.drmcninja.com), and the new, exclusive-to-print story "Beyond Winter Wonderdome."
• Drmcninja.com receives up to 200,000 unique visitors on update days.

NOTE: The story here by me and Les, "Beyond Winter Wonderdome", is a full-length 24-page adventure. ALSO: it is in the same Christmas continuity as Santa Claus vs. the Martians, for all you continuity hounds out there.

Upcoming from Image

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 20:01:18 GMT

Hello, everyone. I have not posted in a while, so I am going to do a couple of posts about some projects I have coming up. I will separate them by publisher to make it easier...for me?

GUARDING THE GLOBE #6
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO
art RANSOM GETTY
cover RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA
JANUARY 26
32 PAGES /FC
$3.50
As the hit miniseries comes to it’s conclusion, The Order finally make their move. The Guardians of the Globe find themselves up against the biggest threat they’ve faced to date and not everyone will make it out unscathed. Also in this issue: The final fate of Robot and Monster Girl is revealed!

LOVEBUNNY & MR. HELL, VOL. 1 TP
story TIM SEELEY
art TIM SEELEY & VARIOUS
cover TIM SEELEY
JANUARY 12
128 PAGES / FC
$14.99
Before HACK/SLASH, TIM SEELEY introduced another critically acclaimed duo to the world in the form of dysfunctional superheroes, Lovebunny & Mr. Hell! Former sidekick Beth Bowers wants to be her own hero, but she's saddled with a sidekick of her own; the demonic, eternally hungry Mr. Hell! Long out of print, their twisted adventures return in an all new, volume in full color for the first time! Include EVERY appearance of LOVEBUNNY & MR.HELL to date including the HACK/SLASH strips and the crossover with Savage Dragon!
RETAILER WARNING: MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES

NOTE: I only have a one page story in this, but there it is. So, you know. Don't buy this for my sake. Buy it because you think it's cool or funny or whatever. Or because Tim Seeley is a cool guy.

SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS #2 (of 4)
story BENITO CERENO
art & cover JAMES HARREN & DYLAN MCCRAE
JANUARY 5
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
When unidentified flying objects snatch a couple of teens doing some heavy petting up at Inspiration Point, will the jolly old elf be able to fly the Little St. Nick fast enough to make sure they get back home for the holidays?

NOTE: On the one hand, this is not the final version of the cover. On the other hand, I am nearly positive this is the first time Bellsnickle has ever been on a comics cover. Can anyone confirm?

SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS #3 (of 4)
story BENITO CERENO
art & cover JAMES HARREN & DYLAN MCCRAE
FEBRUARY 2
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
After the Martians dare to invade Earth again after being driven off twice, Santa decides to use all the resources at his disposal to send them packing for good. What follows is an all-out battle across the skies for the fate of all humankind!

So that's what you have to look forward to in the next couple of months in terms of my Image output, everyone!

When the saints go marching in

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 19:52:42 GMT

Hello, everyone.

Today is All Souls' Day, the day in which we pray for the recently dead. Yesterday, however, was All Saints' Day, the day on which we give wicked high fives to all the saints. And that's what I want to talk about today.

Obviously this post would have been more timely yesterday, but the problem was not so much that I needed to pray to St. Expeditus against procrastination, but rather that I needed to pray to St. Isidore of Seville, patron of the web, for better internet connection.

Here are some saints and martyrs that you might choose to venerate this week based on your own unique situation in life:

Erasmus of Formiae, protector of pyrotechnicians, steeplejacks, chimney sweeps, sailors and anyone who works at great heights, due to his sweet ability to dodge lightning

[photo not available]
Gang Bing, patron of eunuchs, from the time he cut off his own genitals and hid them in the emperor's saddle bags (not a euphemism) as a show of loyalty or something

St. Maturinus, exorcist and protector of clowns and jesters

Sts. Adrian and Natalia of Nicodemia, who use their holy powers to protect arms dealers

Albinus of Angers, invoked against attack by pirates and incestuous weddings

Bernardino of Siena, for your gambling addiction (you know who you are)

Conrad of Piancenza, to cure your hernia, be it incomplete, epigastric, bladder, strangulated, lumbar hernia, Richter's hernia, obstructed, inguinal, or direct

[not pictured: St. Denise, often seen with Peter, Andrew, and Paul. But not THAT Peter, Andrew, or Paul.]
St. Denise, invoked against totally wrecking your tallbike, no matter how many PBRs you've had. She will remind you to roll that one pants leg up.

Lidwina, protectress of ice skaters with multiple sclerosis

Drogo of Sebourg, patron of the unattractive and Starbucks baristas. If you are an ugly barista, you are doubly blessed.

Happy belated All Saints', everybody.

Hello. It is Halloween. You did it.

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 00:25:17 GMT

Here are some things about Halloween:

Nate has an awesome Hector Plasm Halloween print available for sale!

It is super high-quality printing and paper. It looks like this:

You can purchase it here:
http://fetorpse.blogspot.com/2010/10/happy-hectorween.html

---------------

Nate has also done a fun illustration for a ComicsAlliance feature called Greatest Comics that Never Happened.

I won't spoil the picture for you, because it's so fun, but here's the title: "GALACULA THIRSTS!"

Check it out:
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/10/28/galacula-galactus-dracula/

---------------

Speaking of ComicsAlliance, I contributed a piece to a feature in which spooky writers such as myself AND R.L. FRICKING STINE talk about their favorite scary story or scary childhood memory.

As such, I wrote up an epic tale of young Benito.

It begins thusly:

"The Time the Church Ghosts Tried to Kill Me

When I was a child, I was convinced that the church was haunted. Even then, I could see the logical inconsistency: how could a church be filled with ghosts? A Dracula couldn't step foot on consecrated ground, how could something so much lower on the Hierarchical Ladder of Monsters (Draculas--> Frankensteins--> Wolf-Mans--> Freddy Kruegers--> Teen Wolves--> Ghosts) not be automatically incinerated by the Holy Ghost Power (the Holy Ghost obviously having been granted special dispensation by the church)?

Regardless, I imagine any sufficiently large building absent of warm bodies, in a child's imagination, becomes full of dead ones. An empty Toys 'R Us might as well be the Amityville Horror house if it's quiet and all the lights are off. And so, once apart from the protective presence of my family, I became convinced nameless, faceless revenants lurked not only the church's interiors, but its whole grounds.

I was frequently able to ward off fears of these spirits by being frequently armed with the officially licensed Ghostbusters 2 noisemaking keychain I got from Hardee's. A fully functional spectral dematerializer and much more compact than a proton pack, this little beauty offered me protection from the dead in a variety of wavelengths, including triggers for rays sounding like a car alarm or a bomb whistling through the sky and then detonating. It was all very technical."

Read the rest here:
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/10/29/scary-story-rl-stine-horror/

-------------------------

No new Hectorween this year, sorry. But if you've never seen it, here is the animatic musical version of "Hector contre la Danse Macabre" Nate and I made last year:

-------------------------

Unrelated to either me or Nate, here is a pretty awesome comic getting passed around this Halloween:

http://emcarroll.com/comics/faceallred/01.html

-------------------------

My awesome good friend finkenstein made the world's best Halloween costume. You can see it here:

http://finkenstein.livejournal.com/186096.html

-------------------------

In other, less interesting costume news, here is me in my costume:

I am a Professaurus.

Professaur Rex if you prefer.

That mask is handmade by me and Nate. No one was selling dinosaur masks this year for some reason.

Here is Nate's costume, linked for your own protection.

If you have some cool pictures of your costume, please feel free to share!

------------------------

And there you have it.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

Hectorween 2010 Heck o' Lantern contest!

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 22:05:44 GMT

HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN

AND LADIES

It's October almost and, boy, do we here at Hector central love Halloween!

There won't be a new Hector book this year, but that doesn't keep us from observing the holiday of Hectorween in our hearts!

We want you to celebrate with us by joining in this year's Heck o' Lantern contest!

If you bought Hector Plasm: Totentanz (if you didn't, see the end of this post!), you may have seen the pumpkin stencil we included that gives you something of a Hectorian profile, like-a so:

Here is your goal: MAKE ONE WAY BETTER. (i.e., not using that stencil.)

Make it as fancy or funny or po-mo as you want, just carve up the coolest Hector-themed pumpkin you can. It doesn't have to be Hector, it can be any character that has appeared in any of the books, just someone or something recognizably related to the Hectorverse.

First place wins copies of both DE MORTUIS and TOTENTANZ signed by me and Nate AND an original Hector sketch by young Nate Bellegarde himself!

Second place gets the signed books, personally touched by both Benito and Nate and probably bearing our fingerprints and identifiable traces of DNA.

Third place gets a random item from both Benito's and Nate's houses! It could be anything! Anything that fits in a regular manila envelope!

HERE'S THE DEAL!

Send us a photo or preferably multiple photos from various angles of your undoubtedly SUPER BITCHIN carved up pumpkin (or other carveable vegetable or tuber) by OCTOBER 24, ONE WEEK BEFORE HALLOWEEN!

HOW DO I SUBMITTED PHOTOS?

You can post links here, on this very post, tweet them @benito_cereno or @fetorpse, or post them on the wall of our Facebook group, which is here:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Benito-Nates-Thing-on-The-Facebook/116160325087558

(You can join that if you haven't already.)

Okay?

OKAY.

GET CARVIN, JERKS!

***********HECTOR BOOK NEWS*******************

If you are the kind of person who has told me or Nate that you haven't read the Hector books because you can't find it in the store, or your store wouldn't order it, or you're confused about how to buy comics from online retailers, fret not!

BOTH Hector specials are now available for download on your iPhone or iPad via the Image Comics app on Comixology!

Check out these sweet links:

http://www.comixology.com/digital/3251/Hector-Plasm-De-Mortuis
http://www.comixology.com/digital/3252/Hector-Plasm-Totentatz

96 pages of comics goodness for under $4? WE MUST BE CRAZY.

Also coming in December

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 17:05:10 GMT

GUARDING THE GLOBE #5
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO
art RANSOM GETTY
cover RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA
DECEMBER 22
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
Brit has had enough: El Chupacabra has crossed a line. Will this be it for the Guardians of the Globe? Will they be able to pull things together in time to deal with the Order? They’d better, for the sake of the planet!

Coming in December

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 01:12:25 GMT

Hey, fellows! Here is the word on my no-longer secret new project!

(Click for big.)
(P.S. Mine is the one on the right.)

From this press release:

Father Christmas Faces Off Against Space Invaders!

For centuries, one man has patrolled the night, rewarding the good and punishing the wicked, protecting children from all manner of dangers. So, when a mysterious canister falls from the sky and crash lands in the peaceful English countryside, only Father Christmas can put an end to the threat of invasion from the Red Planet!

SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS is a four-issue miniseries written by Benito Cereno and drawn by James Harren with covers by Nate Bellegarde. The first issue does on sale December 1, 2010

According to Cereno, “SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS takes its inspiration from the high concept of the famously terrible B-movie SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. Rather than being an adaptation or remake, it uses the basic idea as a springboard for an epic battle that explores the way our culture has looked at the Christmas gift-giver and invaders from space over the course of three centuries. Whatever your favorite bit of the Santa mythology or whatever your preferred form of Martian, chances are good you will see it within the pages of this mini-series!”

SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS #1 (of 4) (OCT100462), a 32-page full-color comic book for $3.50 that will be in stores December 1, 2010.

Art by the awesome James Harren: http://jharren.deviantart.com/
Colors by the Australian Dylan McCrae: http://dylanmccrae.com/

Also coming in November

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 22:42:05 GMT

I did have a small hand in making this one.

Christmas comic!

TICK NEW SERIES #7
By Benito Cereno. Artist Les McClaine. Cover by Les McClaine.

(W) Benito Cereno (A) Les McClaine The Tick spies a mysterious bright light in the December winter sky! Suspecting this means the birth of Baby Santa is imminent, he enlists Arthur and The Man-Eating Cow on a wintry pilgrimage! Their trek is fraught with many perilous obstacles of The Tick kind! Will they find the real Baby Santa or does something far less Christmas-y and far more sinister await our heroes?

------------

I have a good feeling about this one, guys.

Woo!

Buy this comic I had nothing to do with

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:57:09 GMT

If you bought Hector Plasm: Totentanz and are a right-thinking individual, you would have noticed that the best pages in the whole thing were drawn by Jess Fink, whose comics website Kid with Experience recently launched.

Now coming in November, you can hold one of her comics in your hand and read about a band you might not listen to that like pees on people and stuff?

ADVENTURES INTO MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE (one-shot)
story JIMMY URINE, STEVE RIGH?, LYN-Z & KITTY
art & cover JESS FINK
NOVEMBER 3
32 PAGES / BW
$3.99
“MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE”
TRUE tales of HORROR and INSANITY that will chill you right to the BONE. From MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE, the internationally acclaimed original electro-punk band, comes true, never-before-told stories from the road. THRILL as rowdy fans throw junk at the band! SHIVER as band members are hauled off to jail! WATCH in awe as venues are trashed! Real stories, written and experienced by the band, with art by JESS FINK.

Anyway, I demand you buy this, basically. In short.

Speaking of Guarding the Globe

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:08:43 GMT

Coming in November:

GUARDING THE GLOBE #4
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO, art & cover RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA

32 PAGES / FC
$3.50

As the VILTRUMITE WAR rages on within the pages of INVINCIBLE, the Guardians of the Globe are the last line of defense on Earth. KNOCKOUT! KID THOR! EL BRUISER! JAPANDROID! BEST TIGER! PEGASUS! CAST IRON! The Guardians ranks are swelling, but will it be enough? The Order is finally making their move; the fate of the entire globe rests in the balance.

Guarding the Globe #1 preview!

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:20:54 GMT

So the first issue of my most famous book ever comes out on Wednesday.

Here is a preview of it, with a whole NINE pages for you to point your eyes at:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=preview&id=6151&disp=table

This is the page where Cecil shouts the title of the book:

Metamorpho in: ENTER: NEGAMORPHO

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:19:30 GMT

Oh, hello, everyone.

Today of all days is the anniversary of young Nate Bellegarde’s birth, and if you have been on the internet in the same tubes as he has, you may know that his sole birthday wish was for everyone to draw Metamorpho, the free-wheelin’ Element Man.

My drawing, however, is no great shakes. Neither is my writing, for that matter, but at least it doesn’t require a scanner. And so…

Happy birthday, Nate. I wrote a present for you AND FOR ALL THE PLANET EARTH.

And here it is:

PAGE ONE!

Header: Dashing REX MASON, soldier of fortune, had his life changed forever when millionaire genius SIMON STAGG sent him on a suicide mission to the burning sands of modern Egypt to retrieve the mysterious ORB OF RA! Bathed in the light of a radiating meteorite from OUTER SPACE, Rex found himself transformed—able to alter the chemistry of his body into ANY ELEMENT THE WRITER CAN THINK OF! As the daring METAMORPHO, THE ELEMENT MAN, square-jawed Rexy boy fights for the heart of dreamy SAPPHIRE STAGG and also occasionally beats up criminals, &c.

ROLL CALL!
Run this shit down the left hand side!

REX “METAMORPHO” MASON!
The Element Man!

SIMON “MR. MILLIONS” STAGG!
Intelligent Man!

“SASSY” SAPPHIRE STAGG!
So elegant, man!

JA“UNFROZEN CAVEMAN BODYGUARD”VA!
Pre-relevant Man!

URANIA “ELEMENT GIRL” BLACKWELL!
Is not in this comic! Also, Neil Gaiman killed her, that dick.

SPLASH PANEL!
Holy crap, dudes, I think Metamorpho is for real dead this time, because he is smooth pinned to the ground by a grip of harpoons and has a big, gaping hole in his chest. His face shows him to be in agony, and he is reaching his hands out, as if towards us, the readers! His body also seems to be falling apart at the seams. Behind him gloats Black Manta, that guy from Aquaman, holding his harpoon gun up in the air and shaking his fist in victory.

Also! Behind him floats the deadly Negamorpho, evil twin of Metamorpho! He has a totally black head with a nose, eyebrows, not a harelip, and other features that Metamorpho sometimes has when artists draw him off model. His shirt part is blue and yellow where Metamorpho’s is orange and purple, respectively. His legs are, uh, the opposite of mud? and metal? And his belt buckle has an “N” on it instead of an “M.” (It stands for “Negamorpho.”) Anyway, Negamorpho is like a gaseous cloud of evil, swirling about a panicking Sapphire Stagg, who cannot escape his clutches.

METAMORPHO says: S-s-sufferin’ Sapphire! I never thought I’d go out like this, baby!

Then METAMORPHO says: 86’d by my evil twin and-->choke!<--that guy from Aquaman!

PAGE TWO!

Panel one!
Swingin’ Rex Mason (totally in human form—how can this be?!) and his main lady, Sapphire Stagg, hang loose and hang ten, riding a wave on a couple of surfboards. Rexy boy wears some board shorts, and Sapphire sizzles in a teeny bikini!

CAPTION: Earlier…

REX: Whoa, baby! You better slow down or you’re going to make all the mermaids jealous of those sweet gams!

SAPPHIRE: Aw, Rexy baby! You are the most, lover! How’s this for a goofy-footing hot-dogger?

Panel two!
Simon Stagg stands on the beach facing out into the water. He is dressed in his regular old Colonel Sanders suit like he wears, complete with string tie and all. With one hand he holds up a seemingly ancient document covered in hieroglyphics and runes, and with his other hand he cups his mouth to call out to Rex. Next to him in the sand sits Java, wearing a pair of sweet jamz and holding a bottle of suntan lotion which he squeezes into one hand.

STAGG: Rex! Enough of your showboating! You know you have to surf in the shape of these ancient runes in order to raise the wreckage of the sunken freighter loaded with Aztec gold!

JAVA: Master, can you help Java get his back? Java doesn’t want his tan to be all muddled and uneven when Sapphire gets back to shore.

Panel three!
Close on Rex and Sapphire, grinning as Rex calls back to Stagg on the shore.

REX: Ah, Staggsy, you old stick in the mud! Only you could ruin a happening holiday at the Gulf shore!

SAPPHIRE: Don’t let him spoil your fun, darling! Let’s show daddy that we can really hang ten!

PAGE THREE!

Panel one!
Bird’s eye shot of Rex and Sapphire surfing through the waves, carving out a pattern in the shape of an eldritch rune!

SAPPHIRE: That’s the way, Rexy baby! Show that wave you mean business!

REX: You know no one can carve out cuneiform from a coastal crest like your cuddly chemical crusader, cutie!

Panel two!
Rex and Sapphire react with surprise as the water around them begins to froth and bubble!

SAPPHIRE: Rex! Something’s—happening!

Panel three!
Back on the shore, Stagg grits his teeth in an avaricious grin and clenches his fists in victory, crumpling up his ancient vellum. Java scratches his head.

STAGG: It’s working! It’s working, by Gadfrey!

Panel four!
Rex and Sapphire start to panic as the waves rise and splash all around them.

REX: Blazin’ blue Hannah! He’s not lyin’! The ghost ship must be coming up!

PAGE FOUR!

Panel one!
Holy cats! That’s no ghost ship! It’s Black Manta, totally busting up out of the waves, knocking Rex and Sapph off their boards! His fists are all up in the air and he wields the hell out of a harpoon gun.

BLACK MANTA: No such luck, jerks! BLACK MANTA is no ghost ship!

REX: Holy cats!

Panel two!
Rex and Sapphire wash up on the shore. Rex wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting up in the surf. He is not super happy with the state of things right now.

REX: Buddy, if you’re looking for a knuckle-duster, ol’ Rexy boy Mason is rip-roarin’ to give you one!

Panel three!
Java cringes behind Stagg, using him as a human shield. Stagg looks annoyed.

STAGG: Java! What in blazes are you doing?

JAVA: Java is bolstering you, Master, so that the interloper does not knock you down!

Panel four!
Black Manta strides confidently up onto the shore.

MANTA: Calm down, all of you! I’m just looking for a man by the name of METAMORPHO!

PAGE FIVE!

Panel one!
Rex shouts at Black Manta, pointing at himself fiercely with both thumbs!

REX: You found him, fish breath! The only chemical freak around these parts is yours truly, buster!

Panel two!
Black Manta nonchalantly fires his harpoon gun.

BLACK MANTA: Right on.

SFX: PYEW!

Panel three!
Rex staggers, gritting his teeth, a harpoon sticking through his shoulder. Sapphire and some other ladies on the beach are shocked, eyes wide and mouths a-gaspin’.

SAPPHIRE: Rex, darling! No!

REX: Relax, gorgeous. You know it takes a lot more than that to put down the Element Man!

Panel four!
Black Manta nonchalantly fires his harpoon gun three more times.

BLACK MANTA: You got it, dude.

SFX: PYEW! PYEW! PYEW!

Panel five!
Rex is now pinned to the wall of a, uh, wooden changing station? Or, like, an outhouse or something? Anyway, he’s got like four harpoons going through him. Ladies are just screaming all over the place.

REX: All right, helmet head! Now you’ve got me good and mad!

LADIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PAGE SIX!

Panel one!
A cloud of gas begins to seep from Rex’s mouth and eyeholes, and his skin begins to sag. Ladies are smooth screamin at this too.

GAS: You wanna tussle, cuddle fish, let me change into a cloud of FLUORINE GAS—

LADIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Panel two!
This one’s all big! It’s Metamorpho, flying out of the now empty latex skin he was wearing, raring for action! He’s solidifying, but part of him is still gassy. His right hand is a giant mace, and his left hand is a giant hammer. Ladies are screamin.

METAMORPHO: --LET’S TUSSLE!

LADIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Panel three!
The ladies are left looking at the empty latex skin, all saggin and hangin from some harpoons on the side of an outhouse. Yeah, they’re screamin.

LADIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PAGE SEVEN!

Panel one!
Black Manta, seeing Metamorpho flying toward him, dives back into the ocean.

BLACK MANTA: Oh snap!

Panel two!
Metamorpho morphs into a giant surfboard and chases after Black Manta.

METAMORPHO: Good luck if you think you can outswim a SELENIUM SURFBOARD!*

CAPTION: *Readers of a more scientific bent already know that selenium is the most tubular of all metals**!

CAPTION: **Or whatever.

Panel three!
Metamorpho, catching up to Black Manta, slams him with a left hook made of a giant 16-ton weight. (It says 16 tons on it.)

METAMORPHO: Now let’s see how you stand up to a LITHIUM LEFT!

SFX: WHAM!

Panel four!
And now a right cross with a fist made of an anchor!

METAMORPHO: Or an IRON PY-RIGHT!

SFX: SLAM!

Panel five!
Black Manta floats face down in the water, while Metamorpho, now in the shape of a buoy, floats on the surface and smiles, yelling back to Sapphire on the shore.

METAMORPHO: Hey, Sapphire! What do you think of your buoy now?

SAPPHIRE: Oh, lover! You know you float my boat as always!

PAGE EIGHT!

Panel one!
Black Manta was just faking, though, guys! He is still totally conscious and now he totally shoots a harpoon into Metamorpho’s stomach!

SFX: PYEW!

METAMORPHO: HURK!

Panel two!
Metamorpho grins slyly, still bent over from the force of the harpoon to his stomach. Black Manta smirks, but you cannot see this because of the nature of his helmet.

METAMORPHO: Ah, c’mon, Manta. You gotta know by now your harpoons don’t work on me.

BLACK MANTA: Yeah. This one’s got a little something extra.

Panel three!
Metamorpho reels back from his own stomach in fear! That harpoon has a bundle of dynamite on it, with a fuse that’s hissing on down!

BLACK MANTA: DYNAMITE!

METAMORPHO: DYNAMITE!

PAGE NINE!

Panel one!
Metamorpho just explodes while Black Manta swims away.

SFX: Ka-BOOOOOM!

BLACK MANTA: Adios, suckas!

Panel two!
Sapphire reacts with shock and terror, while Stagg puts his arm around her shoulders, comforting her. Java rubs his hands together and grins deviously.

SAPPHIRE: Rex! NO!

STAGG: Don’t worry, daughter. You know our boy Rex always pulls himself back together, no matter what.

JAVA: HAH! Now that Rex Mason is blow into tiny pieces, the delectable Sapphire is free to go steady with…JAVA!

Panel three!
Sapphire looks down angrily at Java, who grins sheepishly back up at her.

SAPPHIRE: Dude, I’m standing RIGHT HERE.

JAVA: Ehhhh…aheh!

Panel four!
Stagg points Sapphire’s attentions out to a purple puddle swimming its way toward shore.

STAGG: Look! Here he comes now!

SAPPHIRE: Oh, Rexy baby! Thank goodness!

Panel five!
Rex pulls himself back together as Stagg and Sapphire run toward him. In the background, Java looks thoughtfully at Rex’s skin hanging loosely from the harpoons, rubbing his chin. Oh, yeah: also: Rex has a big hole in his chest.

METAMORPHO: Heya, Sapph. I’m…I’m not feelin’ so hot.

SAPPHIRE: Rex! Your chest!

STAGG: We must get you back to the lab immediately! If we get there in time, I know I can save you, by Jasper!

Panel six!
Cut back to Black Manta, who is swimming away, holding what appears to be a big chunk of purple rock in his hand. (Guys: it is a piece of Metamorpho.)

BLACK MANTA: Heh! Heh!

PAGE TEN!

Panel one!
Establishing shot: a mysterious lab!

CAPTION: Later, at a mysterious lab!

Panel two!
Black Manta, inside the lab, tosses the hunk of purple rock on a desk covered in test tubes and Erlenmeyer flasks. A shadowy man is seated at the desk.

BLACK MANTA: All right, doc. I got your hunk of purple man rock. Now where’s my money?

Panel three!
Now we see who the shadowy figure sitting at the desk is! Holy crap, it’s Dr. Sivana! He picks up the purple rock and examines it.

SIVANA: You’ll get your money, Black Manta, after I’ve completed my experiment! Heh! Hehhh!

Panel four!
Black Manta and Sivana stand next to a machine that looks like a busted overhead projector.

BLACK MANTA: What are you going to do? Shoot the rock with that busted overhead projector?

Panel five!
Sivana places the rock on the machine, under the lens or laser or whatever’s on the arm part.

SIVANA: Imbecile! I’m going to bathe it in the rays of this, my imperfect duplicate machine! It makes imperfect duplicates of anything! Weeds out of flowers! Poisons out of sweet chocolate egg creams! Three-legged babies out of four-legged babies! Heh! Heh! Hehhhhh!

PAGE ELEVEN!

Panel one!
Black Manta looks down at Sivana, who looks moderately annoyed.

BLACK MANTA: Sure, sure, doc. But why’s it look like a stack of dogshit?

SIVANA: Yes, well. Hmm. It’s not my own design. This is actually an imperfect duplicate I made of Luthor’s imperfect duplicate machine by shooting his imperfect duplicate machine with that machine’s own imperfect duplicate ray.

Panel two!
Black Manta stands behind Sivana, who peers intently at the rock.

BLACK MANTA: So what are you going to do? Shoot that rock with that ray and make…what? A…less good rock?

SIVANA: You fool! Can’t you see the big picture?

Panel three!
Sivana raises his hands and stares up at the ceiling in victory!

SIVANA: I will shoot this piece of Metamorpho with my imperfect duplicate machine and create an evil Metamorpho! One who will only be able to transform into substances found on the Periodic Table of Evil Elements! One who will do my bidding!

SIVANA: One who will help me regain my long lost formula for Sivanium, a living metal I once used to nearly defeat the wizard Shazam and that big red cheese!* Heh! HEHHHHH!

CAPTION: *You all remember this, of course, from Captain Marvel Adventures #100, September 1949! It’s a classic!

Panel four!
Sivana dramatically presses the button on the overhead projector!

SIVANA: And now I begin to reap the limitless benefits of applied mad science!

SFX: Click.

PAGE TWELVE!

Panel one!
A ray issues from the lens of the machine and zaps the rock!

SFX: PYEW!

Panel two!
Sivana and Manta look on as the rock begins to shake and sizzle!

SIVANA: It’s working! Heh! It’s working!

SFX: SSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Panel three!
Negamorpho (remember him from the first page?) bursts forth from the machine, knocking Sivana and Manta down!

NEGAMORPHO: Hark! ‘Tis I, NEGAMORPHO, the NEGATIVE MAN of EVIL ELEMENTS!

Panel four!
Negamorpho flies over to Sivana and Manta on the floor, hovering above them as a mist.

NEGAMORPHO: Hail, my mad creator and yon dark assassin! My eternal thanks that thou hast given to me life. How shall I do thy bidding, my lord and master?

Panel five!
Sivana looks up at Negamorpho and adjusts his glasses.

SIVANA: Heh! Well, well. At last someone who does what he’s told without asking for money. Why don’t you show Black Manta here what you can do?

NEGAMORPHO: Your merest wish is my most hearty command, your worship.

PAGE THIRTEEN!

Panel one!
Sivana and Manta stand surrounded by a hazy mist. The two of them are just openly weeping. Manta has tears streaming out of his weird eye porthole things.

BLACK MANTA: Aw, man! What the hell? Is this tear gas? Why is tear gas making me feel sad?

SIVANA: Heh! He must have converted into the first evil element! CRYDROGEN!

Panel two!
Black Manta now stands with all of his clothes missing except his helmet. He wears boxers with little fish on them. Sivana rubs his hands in glee.

BLACK MANTA: Man! WHAT THE FUCK. Where are my pants, you dick?

SIVANA: Heh! The element with the atomic evil number of two! STEALIUM!

Panel three!
Black Manta now looks exceedingly worried, holding his fingers up to his “mouth” as if he’s chattering away at his fingernails. Sivana’s glee grows.

BLACK MANTA: Now I’ve got a sense of doom about my prospects for the future!

SIVANA: Heh! FOREBODIUM! The evilest of the alkali metals!

Panel four!
Black Manta and Sivana screw up their faces in disgust and wave their hands in front of their faces.

BLACK MANTA: Aw, man! Rank! What is this one? Stinkium?

SIVANA: Heh! No, this one is…>sniff< Ah! FARTS!

PAGE FOURTEEN!

Panel one!
Negamorpho resolidifies his head and shoulders and floats above Sivana, who looks up at him, very pleased.

SIVANA: Bravo, my evil element man! Now! Turn into that most precious evil element of all: SIVANIUM!

NEGAMORPHO: Nay, my lord. Though I bow my will to thine every caprice, I would as lief first slay my simp’ring counterpart, Rex Mason!

Panel two!
Sivana does not look pleased about this.

SIVANA: What?! Bah! Bah! You have to do what I say, and I say make Sivanium!

Panel three!
Negamorpho stands, lit dramatically, as a man on a mission.

NEGAMORPHO: Though it does my heart ill to refuse thy command, the burning coal of the element ALONIUM that glows within my breast doth demand that I alone be the sole man of elements! And to that end, I MUST SLAY METAMORPHO!

Panel four!
Negamorpho flies off; Sivana stomps the ground in anger; Black Manta just laughs, standing in his skivvies.

NEGAMORPHO: And so, my liege, farewell.

SIVANA: No! BAH! BAH! My Sivanium!

BLACK MANTA: Heh! Heh! Heh!

PAGE FIFTEEN!

Panel one!
Establishing shot: Stagg’s mansion!

CAPTION: Meanwhile, back at Stagg’s mansion!

Panel two!
Sapphire and Stagg stand over the body of Metamorpho, who lies on a table hooked up to life support, with a huge hole in his chest.

SAPPHIRE: Daddy, can you fix him? Please tell me Rex is gonna make it!

STAGG: I’ll do my best, darling, but without the final piece he seems to be missing, I’m afraid Rex will be stuck in this…inert state.

Panel three!
Sapphire looks up, with a sudden look of concern across her face. She kind of hugs her own arms in anxiety. A wrinkle makes its way to Stagg’s brow as well.

SAPPHIRE: Daddy! I know I’m worried about Rex, but suddenly it feels like an uncool wave of super anxiety just rocked my pretty little head!

STAGG: Strangely, daughter, I feel it too! And, hmm…that oddly sulfurous smell…

Panel four!
Stagg holds up a Geiger counter-like device. His face shows alarm.

STAGG: By Gadfrey! My instruments confirm my worst suspicions! That odor and our feelings of concern are being brought about by the presence of the evil element DYSTTERBIUM!

Panel five!
Stagg spins around as suddenly a body has materialized behind him!

STAGG: This can only mean one thing!

VOICE: Aye, sir!

PAGE SIXTEEN!

Panel one!
Negamorpho stands fully solidified, holding Sapphire around the neck with his arm.

NEGAMORPHO: A man of evil elements!

SAPPHIRE: Daddy! Help!

Panel two!
Stagg furrows his brow, thinking doggedly about his situation.

STAGG: Blazes! Of all the times for Rex to be out of commission, why did it have to be when we need him most?

STAGG: I’d even take Java’s help, by Jasper! Where is that slant-jawed buffoon?

Panel three!
Cut to Java, sittin in a bubble bath, all wearin a hair net, all surrounded by candles, all listenin to bubblegum hits of the 50s.

JAVA (singing): SPLISH SPLASH JAVA TAKIN A BATH DUH NUH NUH ALL UPON A SATURDAY NIGHT

Panel four!
Cut back to Negamorpho, holding Sapphire hostage.

NEGAMORPHO: If thou yet hast hope to save thy daughter’s life, think thou not to battle me, but rather to direct my own gaze to the stead wherein resides the ELEMENT MAN!

Panel five!
Negamorpho spins around, as he hears a voice behind him!

VOICE: Hey! >coff< >coff< Did…

PAGE SEVENTEEN!

Panel one!
Big panel! It’s Metamorpho! He’s gotten up from his death bed, and he’s all trailin oxygen tubes and catheters and smooth holding his own guts in despite the huge hole in his chest.

METAMORPHO: Did someone call for an ELEMENT MAN?

Panel two!
Negamorpho casts Sapphire aside and approaches Metamorpho.

SAPPHIRE: Rex! Don’t try to fight him! You’re too weak!

NEGAMORPHO: Wench, thou wilt be silent!

NEGAMORPHO: Good sir, I challenge thee to a duel of honor to prove which man alone deserves the name of ELEMENT!

Panel three!
Close in on Metamorpho’s face, who grins through the pain.

METAMORPHO: >coff< Buster, I don’t understand a single word leakin’ out of your slimy gob, but >coff<--

METAMORPHO: --YOU’RE ON.

PAGE EIGHTEEN!

Panel one!
Actually, this whole page is kind of splashy, with Metamorpho and Negamorpho flying all around changing into different elements, winding around each other as various clouds and streams of gases, puddles of liquids, piles of solids, miasmas of plasmas, &c.

METAMORPHO: MERCURY!

NEGAMORPHO: JERKURY!

METAMORPHO: BARIUM!

NEGAMORPHO: SCARIUM!

METAMORPHO: ALUMINUM!

NEGAMORPHO: MALUMINUM!

METAMORPHO: CARBON!

NEGAMORPHO: CARBON!

METAMORPHO: ANTIMONY!

NEGAMORPHO: PROMONY!

METAMORPHO: CURIUM!

NEGAMORPHO: WORRIUM!

METAMORPHO: CALIFORNIUM!

NEGAMORPHO: SCATPORNIUM!

PAGE NINETEEN!

Panel one!
Metamorpho, floating on by, manages a wry grin.

METAMORPHO: All right, Negarino, try these on for size! >coff<

Panel two!
Once more, the two element men intertwine, flying through the air as gases.

METAMORPHO: NEON!

NEGAMORPHO: I—

METAMORPHO: XENON!

NEGAMORPHO: Hold—

METAMORPHO: ARGON!

NEGAMORPHO: I say—

METAMORPHO: KRYPTON!

Panel three!
Negamorpho crashes headlong into a wall, panicking.

NEGAMORPHO: No! I—NOOOOO!

Panel four!
Negamorpho reverts back to a chunk of purple rock, smoking at Metamorpho’s feet.

METAMORPHO: Heh. >coff< Sorry, Charlie. I just sank your battleship.

PAGE TWENTY

Panel one!
Sapphire rushes over to Metamorpho, who leans over to pick up the purple piece of himself.

SAPPHIRE: Rexy baby! Honey! Lover! Doll! You’re alive!

METAMORPHO: Yeah, but I’m not quite 100%, so don’t go eating me alive just yet, darlin’.

Panel two!
Metamorpho puts the piece in the hole in his chest, where it begins to heal immediately. Sapphire clings passionately to his arm.

METAMORPHO: Blazes! There’s nothing like plugging a hole in your chest to make you feel alive!

SAPPHIRE: But how did you do it, man o’ mine? How did you beat him?

METAMORPHO: He was a man made of evil elements, see, so I knew he could never change into—

METAMORPHO: --THE NOBLE GASES.

Panel three!
Stagg wanders in and pats Metamorpho on the back. He is holding a strange and complicated working contraption.

STAGG: Rexy boy! You did it, by Jasper! I ran into my lab to whip up this evil element neutralizing transistor, but I see I needn’t have bothered! Good to have you back, old boy!

Panel four!
Now Java strolls in, looking like the cat that ate the canary, except that he is wearing the latex skin that Rex abandoned at the beach way back at the beginning, and it is all stretched and contorted over him and he just smooth looks like the scariest serial killer caveman ever. All the others are stunned speechless. Also Java is carrying a bouquet of flowers.

JAVA: Sapphire! Now that Rex Mason is dead, you can go steady with Java! As added incentive, Java is now exactly as handsome as Rex Mason was, when he was once alive, which is he no longer.

Panel five!
Everyone just kind of stares at Java, who stands there expectantly.

SAPPHIRE: Oh. Oh, god.

CAPTION: Oh, Java!

THE END

P.S. DC editors, this is totally my spec script for an ongoing Metamorpho series. Call me!

P.P.S. Special thanks to Chris Sims for saying the word “Bizzaromorpho” and thus helping me solidify this story when all I knew was that I wanted Black Manta in it. Acknowledgement also of some emotion or other to Sims and Good Sarah for convincing me to go back and rewrite all of one character’s dialogue.

Coming in October

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 22:17:34 GMT

GUARDING THE GLOBE #3
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO
art & cover RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA
OCTOBER 27
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
As the Viltrumite War rages on within the pages of INVINCIBLE, the Guardians of the Globe are the last line of defense on Earth. New York is under siege, and the Guardians are called in. El Chupacabra is brought along on his first mission, but he’s hiding a dark secret that could tear the team apart! Featuring a special guest-appearance by The Astounding Wolf-Man!

Two things about Guardians of the Globe

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 21:52:35 GMT

1) It's not called Guardians of the Globe anymore.

2) Here is a cool interview with me about my new book "Guarding the Globe."

Coming in September

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:06:27 GMT

(W) Benito Cereno (A) Les McClaine The Ticks and Arthurs of two worlds - er, two times, nowadays and golden age days - must team up in The Present to foil the plot of The Terror - uh, two Terrors, the current one and his golden age version - to restore some semblance of sanity to The Tick Universe! Many other heroes and bad guys appear as well, some from right now and some from oh so long ago! Enjoy the Extravaganza!

http://heavyink.com/comic/15377-Tick-New-Series-6

A couple of things

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:24:34 GMT

Two things about the Guardians of the Globe:

1) Coming in September:

GUARDIANS OF THE GLOBE #2
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO
art & cover RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA
SEPTEMBER 29
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
As the VILTRUMITE WAR rages on within the pages of INVINCIBLE, the ranks of the Guardians of the Globe are suddenly depleted. The Guardians recruitment drive is interrupted as a distress call comes in from Aquarus: Octoboss has taken over Atlantis! Now the recruits are thrown head first into battle—let’s hope they’re ready. If only Invincible were there to help...

2) Here is an interview I did at Newsarama about the Guardians of the Globe.

Here is one thing about the Tick:

1) Hitting shelves on Wednesday, The Tick New Series #4:

(W) Benito Cereno
(A) Les McClaine

The City is being inundated by torrential downpours, forcing The Tick and his friends indoors to play board games while unknown to them an epic "undersea" battle takes place in the now underwater streets for control of The City! Will The City survive the battle between its wacky watery heroes and villains as they finally get their shot at the spotlight! And can the The Tick escape the hell of "board game night" and join the fray? All this, plus a bonus Mike Oeming backup story.

This is my favorite issue of the series so far. I hope you guys love it as much as I do.

Looking for artist/collaborator

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 20:29:17 GMT

Hello, the world.

My name is Benito Cereno, and I write comic books.

Currently I write The Tick for New England Comics and I am the co-writer on the forthcoming Guardians of the Globe series with Robert Kirkman for Image Comics. In the past I have written such titles as Invincible Presents: Atom Eve, Invincible Presents: Atom Eve and Rex Splode, Tales from the Bully Pulpit, and Hector Plasm.

I am always looking for a new project to work on, and so I am seeing if there are any professional or aspiring artists out there who would like to collaborate with me on a project for print.

I am not necessarily looking for someone to work on a pre-existing property or concept, but someone who would like to work together to create a new property.

If your skills and work ethic are of a professional grade and you would like to work with me or would like more information, please send me an e-mail with art sample at benito AT fetorpse.org.

Thanks!

New Guardians of the Globe teaser

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:42:14 GMT

Some pages from Guardians of the Globe

Tue, 25 May 2010 18:25:48 GMT

GUARDIANS OF THE GLOBE #1 (of 6) – GEM OF THE MONTH
story ROBERT KIRKMAN & BENITO CERENO
art RANSOM GETTY
cover RYAN OTTLEY, RANSOM GETTY & FCO PLASCENCIA
AUGUST 25
32 PAGES / FC
$3.50
As the VILTRUMITE WAR rages on within the pages of INVINCIBLE, the ranks of the Guardians of the Globe are suddenly depleted. The world is in danger, and the team is in search of new blood. It’s the biggest recruitment drive since Omni-Man slaughtered the original members. But will the new Guardians of the Globe be ready in time to stop The Order? This series is a can’t-miss action extravaganza!