Basically, he told me to do what I had already been doing. Obviously it didn't work when I did it after him telling me to do it, either.
So on my own, I downloaded Norton Remover or something that's supposed to get rid of all Norton everything so I could try to reinstall. After having to restart again and again, IT STILL DIDN'T WORK.
IT STILL DIDN'T WORK.
So after wasting six hours of my time, I said, "Screw you, Norton," and now I'm back on Avast, which is, you know, free.
AND HERE IS THE BEST PART.
Symantec will not refund my $40.