So follow the cut for my post-nuptial write-up!
I haven't uploaded any photos of the actual wedding or wedding party because I was informed by the bride that she would kill me if I did. I'm not sure if she was serious or not. But that didn't stop B. Clay Moore! Here's his wedding album. I'm in it!
Anyway, for me myself, the wedding was an excuse for a roadtrip with Nate and his ladyfan, S______.
Here they are before the rehearsal dinner, seen with Oscar, who is a cat (who belongs to other S______ [Good S_____], whose house we awesomely stayed at):
I said I wouldn't post pictures of the wedding, but I made no promises about the fake wedding! So here's the fake wedding (which ended up being doubly fake because it rained on Saturday and we had to haul the entire thing inside--literally--to set it up out of the rain):
I also took a picture of some deer that were getting a few holes in on the back nine, but they were too small and you couldn't see their clubs, so I didn't bother uploading it.
Let's skip to the rehearsal dinner! There were ribs there (this is most important!)! And also Jason Famous Latour was there, making a sour face like he just drank something sour like a whiskey sour because he is a girl:
Here are Nate and S_____ apparently enjoying themselves. FACT: This is the only time S_____ smiled the entire trip, so me catching this on film is like snagging a shot of the elusive sasquatch.
Good S_____ is rarely pictured, because every time I tried to snap a shot, I basically got this look:
(You can, however, see more pictures surreptitiously caught by Clay in his photo album linked above.)
The next day was the day of the wedding! So everybody got dressed up in fancy pants pants.
Hey, kids, it's a special day! What do we love?
There were lots of tattoos at this wedding.
Here is chrispiers and his girlfriend with the identical name:
Good times were had with them until one time I got up to do something and Chris took a picture of everybody's butt with my camera while I was gone. I didn't upload those either. Sorry, ladies.
Shariiiif don't like it. Rock the cash bar, rock the cash bar.
(Just kidding. It was still open bar at this point.)
The best part about the reception was that there were lots of egg rolls. I wish the whole dinner had just been giant pans of egg rolls. Man, I love egg rolls.
(Oh, also, Cory Walker and Mark Englert were there.)
Yeah, we all love egg rolls.
Egg rolls are divine, while salad is satanic. I didn't want to believe it until I captured photographic evidence:
FACT: Prior to consumption, that salad bowl contained exactly 669 croutons, which is, I dunno, close enough.
Now the world can see that Nate copies Tony in far more than just his art style:
Well, blow me down.
I thought I would be that awesome guy who took a picture of a person taking a picture. So here it is, Cory and ladyfan:
Look at that loving look Cory is giving. Now observe this photo, and tell me whom you think Cory loves more:
That's basically it for the wedding photos, but that was hardly the end of our adventure! Because we had to drive back also! And we made a somewhat unexpected side trip, but one well worth our time. Where might we have gone, you ask? We went to that glorious setting of my (for now) shelved American riverboat sci-fi epic, Big Salt Lick--
Woo! Big Bone Lick! Nate and S_____ wanted to stop because ha ha hahahaha...
I wanted to stop because I love the birthplace of American vertebrate paleontology.
Here is a thing that was actually posted on the bulletin board in the picnic area:
OH BUT THE TRIP WAS TOTALLY WORTH STOPPING FOR even though the museum and gift shop were inexplicably closed at 7 pm on a Sunday, because we totally saw SOME BISON.
This one, I'm pretty sure, was king of the bison. We named him M. Bison:
FACT: BISON ARE DANGEROUS.
So dangerous, we'll never know what the top half of that sign said, because probably a bison ripped it off with his bare hands.
We were totally about to leave at this point, and I was somewhat disappointed, because we hadn't seen what I actually came for, namely, Pleistocene megafauna.
BUT THEN OH SNAP BOOM
(That one's my favorite because it's like, "Here, kids! Have some rotting carrion entrails! Enjoy your stay at the park!")
M-M-M-MORE LIKE "RADSTODON"
Then Cory's mom showed up to tell us to go home. :(
But not before I got this awesome shot of a totally legit Cyclopean skull! (According to Zoobooks: Elephants!)
And then we went home! The end!
(Also, you may hear rumors or see photos of me "dancing" at the wedding reception. Nota bene: These are all fabrications and elaborate 4chan-level photochops.)
And for those who don't care about the wedding, you may have heard about the big new to come out of Baltimore this weekend:
Nate and I are doing an Atom Eve mini-series to debut by year's end.
So there you go.