January 10th, 2007

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Benito Cereno: Hug Salesman episode 18

Episode 18: Nate, over a barrel

Panel one: Almost as if continued from episode 17. In fact, it is.

BENITO: All right, champ. You're up. Let's hear about you and two girls.

NATE: It was totally sexual.

BENITO: It was not in any way sexual.

NATE: It totally was in any way sexual.

BENITO: Correct me if I'm wrong: you went to Times Square in New York with two ladies who have, in fact, previously shut you down in a semi-public and embarrassing manner.

NATE: Almost. You got it almost right. I'm not sure what was semi-public about it.

BENITO: Well, I wrote about it on internet.

NATE: Then “semi” is being a little generous to yourself, isn't it? Anyway, yes, and two decidedly playing-hard-to-get ladies traveled with me to the Big Nipple for New Year's. They had never met, and now was the time.

BENITO: Man, I bet they got along great, considering all the things they had in common.

NATE: Strangely, pretty much all they have in common is bajingos and the fact that I want to touch those bajingos. So, yeah, they got on like cats and something that hates cats.

BENITO: Homophobes.

NATE: Yes. They got on like cats and homophobes. Anyway, I was somewhat counting on this. I was hoping that their hatred and jealousy of each other would build and build...

BENITO: And that their rivalry would culminate in a “have sex with Nate” contest?

NATE: Exactly. You got it exactly right. And the winner would be me. I totally even had a trophy made and everything. And smaller, tasteful medals for the runners-up.

BENITO: I'm going to guess this sick paraphernalia is somewhere in my house right now, and not in any ladies' bedrooms.

NATE: Sad, but true. My ultimate goal of a midnight threesome did not play out like I thought. S________ got bitchy, so B__________ hopped a train and got out of there. Without the rivalry to fuel their passion for me, S_________ saw no reason to pay attention to me, and started making out with a random dude who was wearing those stupid glasses where the zeros in “2007” were the eyeholes.

BENITO: So I imagine this made for a sad, non-sexual midnight for you in Times Square.

NATE: Not so! I decided New York shouldn't be the only one with a ball dropping, so before the countdown started, I made my way to a port-a-john and busted a menage-a-moi right at the literal stroke of midnight.

BENITO: A portentous start for the new year.

NATE: Exactly. You got it exactly right.



Man, I totally forgot about panels in there. Good thing no one's drawing this!


Today I totally, perhaps ill-advisedly, bought the second Justice League Showcase. Add another one to the huge stack of big fat black and white archive editions I have to read!

But who can resist "The Triumph of the Tornado Tyrant"? I can't. I simply cannot.


Also, this happened.

Also, if you are a Goon, you should totally, totally nominate/vote for me/Nate/Jacon in the Bessies. For sers.

Hmm. I think that's all for now.