September 23rd, 2007

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Another true story from Benito's LCS

The thing most people want to talk about these days is Spider-Man: One More Dollar, even if they haven't read a single panel. They want to speculate and they think they know what's going to happen.

GUY: Me and R____ were talking, and I think we've figured out what's going to happen in One More Day.

BENITO: Yeah, all right. A lot of people have ideas about what's going to happen. Most of them, I'm pretty sure are wrong.

GUY: No, I'm pretty sure we have it figured out. I think Spider-Man is going to lose his leg.

BENITO: You what now?

GUY: Spider-Man! Is going to lose a leg in One More Day.

BENITO: No one alive on this earth has postulated this theory so far. Why on earth would you possibly think that is the big reveal of One More Day?

GUY: Well, in Spider-Girl, Spider-Man has lost a leg, and that's in the future, right? So that's got to happen sometime! And in some other What If?s and future realities, he's missing a leg, know. That's our idea.

BENITO: That is the worst theory I have ever heard about anything. Do you think anyone at Marvel other than Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz give two sturdy chestnut turds about Spider-Girl and its continuity? Do you think Straczynski or whoever is ghosting One More Day for him is actually aware that Marvel publishes a title called Spider-Girl?

GUY: I think it's going to happen. I am nearly positive.

BENITO: Do you want to put money on this? I will put $200 down right now that says there is no way in sweet, sweet hell that anything even remotely like that happens in One More Day.

GUY: I don't have $200!

BENITO: Twenty.

GUY: No, I don't want to bet! I just think they've got to make it match up somehow.

BENITO: Oh, to be so young and charmingly naive about comics again. Sigh...

I then went on at length informing him about the concept of status quo, and how preserving that is sacrosanct in mainstream comics, and how no change that makes Spider-Man even remotely different from the movie version is going to stick. It took some doing, but I think he eventually understood. I didn't bother mentioning to him that it's basically common knowledge that One More Day deals with making a choice between Aunt May and Mary Jane (GEE I WONDER WHO WILL BE CHOSEN).

I have, however, had One More Day conversations with people slightly better versed in comics.


Sigh...I'm probably going to regret posting this one in a few hours. So...enjoy it while you can see it.

[ed. Yeah, it's gone already. Sorry.]


Your Halloween scene for the day:

The Living and the Dead. The zombie comic for people who, like me, are basically completely tired of zombie comics.

Those who actually pay attention to some things I say know that I really enjoy the work of Jason, and this book is no exception.

It is basically a silent film romantic zombie comedy, where the central love story occurs between a dishwasher and a prostitute he fancies. Also: there are zombies. That's pretty much all you need to know? It is basically terrific, and like all Jason books, worth a place in your collection.

Jason's newest book, I Killed Adolf Hitler, is due in stores this month: some will receive them this coming Wednesday, others, like mine, the following Wednesday.


I had a weird dream last night involving an extended pornographic sequence featuring Jim and Pam from The Office. They finally found themselves isolated from the rest of their work environment because they traveled through a hole in spacetime caused by, no kidding, Gorilla Grodd. Finding themselves in a beautifully situated home and bedroom, they totally got it on for a long time. The romance of the whole thing was ruined the morning after when Jim thought it was totally hilarious to fart in experimental ways under the sheets.

This is a true thing I actually dreamed.


Erik Larsen's Popgun contribution.


I think that's all for now.