Wake me when it's over; touch my face
Yo ho, yo ho, my droogs. I hope you all had a pleasant Thxgiving; my Canadian friends, I hope you also had a pleasant Fakesgiving last month or whenever.
I spent the holiday with Nate this year. I called to invite him to Thxgiving dinner. This was our conversation:
ME: Hey, Nate, you want to have Thxgiving with me?
NATE: Yeah, okay, that sounds good. When is it this year? Like the 25th?
ME: Yeah, Nate. They decided to do Thxgiving on a Sunday this year, just to be different. It's tomorrow, jerknuts.
NATE: Oh. OH. Okay. Yeah, tomorrow. Okay.
So we spent Thxgiving at a Cracker Barrel near an interstate. I haven't been to a Cracker Barrel in a long time, but that place was a staple of my youth. Nearly all my (modest) mental dexterity comes from solving puzzles made out of two horseshoes and a chain. I knew too much rust had accumulated in my brainpan when we sat at the table and I could only rank "purty smart" (two pegs) on the peg-jumping game. There were days when I could maneuver that game blind-folded and with a lynx gnawing off my calfmeats. This revelation was, to me, a sad one.
Nearly everyone at the Cracker Barrel was ordering the Thxgiving special meal, and our harried waitress just kind of assumed we would also order this thing. But it was like, "Whoa, baby, slow down. We just got here." So she handed us a little checklist sheet for our choice of drink, vegetable, bread, and pie to go with our Thxgiving meal and was just like, "Think about iiiiitttttt" as she faded into a brown mist that drifted back to the kitchen.
We were briefly stymied by the checklist. We only get one vegetable? This is a horrible Thxgiving, Charlie Brown. We were informed, however, that this was our one customizable vegetable to go with the standard turkey-ham-stuffing/dressing-sweet potatoes-cranberries combo that everybody got and god if we had done our research on crackerbarreldotcom before we came we would know that obviously. Oh, we said. Sorry.
So we got the Thxgiving special plates. My vegetable was macaroni and cheese. This is not a vegetable. I'm not sure what Nate's vegetable was, but it might have been gravy.
Did you know that in the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, they sell boxes of nostalgic candy? I know this will come as a shock to you, as a consumer. "The Old Country Store trading on nostalgia? Shenanigans, mon frere," I hear you cry. But it's true. I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes. It read "Remember When Candy." My first reaction, naturally, was, "Remember when candy what? Cost a nickel? Had to walk two miles to school in the snow?" At any rate, they sell boxes of name brand candy arranged by decade, from the 50s through the 80s. It was somewhat interesting to look at the different boxes from the past decades and see old-fashioned candies that any rational person would assume had been discontinued. So it was with piqued interest that I picked up the box of 80s candy, preparing myself for a wave of nostalgia that can only come from the reminder of forgotten gems of the past, like watching clips of The Biskitts on YouTube. Instead, it is totally a box of regular-ass candy that is still readily available in any regular-ass store. WOW, BUBBLE TAPE, REALLY? SWEET TARTS? SO EXOTIC! I WANT TO TIE MY PONYTAIL ON THE SIDE AND HATE COMMUNISM. It was a letdown.
But there was an animatronic dog that would play Dueling Banjos against a goldfish when you pressed his paw, so I was placated.
Popgun volume One streets this week. I hope you saved your money up.
Just a reminder: the Bully Pulpit/Amazing Joy Buzzards story will NOT be appearing in Popgun. So I hope you didn't, you know, pre-order the book with that in mind.
However, there will be a brand new Hector Plasm story, Palamon's Conundrum, and--AS FAR AS I KNOW--there is still a short two-pager by me and Paul Maybury that I wrote one day on a toilet.
So keep that in mind.
Comics are trying to kill me. Two weeks ago, comics were so good I crawled out of my deathbed to purchase them. Then last week, SO MANY trades and graphic novels shipped in addition to regular comics, that I had to, for the first time, not buy all of my comic stuff at once. Last week, the third Fourth World Omnibus hit ($50!), as did The Goon: Chinatown HC ($20!), plus TenNapel's new book Flink ($13!), and BOTH new Love and Rockets books ($15 each!). So the L&R books stayed for another week.
Which would be fine except, oh yeah, Popgun and Age of Bronze are also shipping this new week (Age of Bronze, for those keeping score, was solicited for July). So SOMETHING is going to have to stay at the store again this week probably. Sigh...
That's all for now. Tell me about your weeks and lives and awesome comics you've read or movies you've seen.
I haven't seen No Country for Old Men yet, so you can gloat if you've seen it.