Benito Cereno (benitocereno) wrote,
Benito Cereno

Blast from the past

If you ever hear John Ingram or Aimee reference salty fries in a reply to one of my posts, this is what they're talking about.

At the das Musik message board, a guy name Sid got drunk and posted one of my pet peeves: a "Screw you guys, I'm going home" post.

He said:

not that anyone would care, this is my last post here.

too much stuff got off topic for me, i can't keep up with all that nonsense.

peace & keep on doing your thing

That's right. That pissed me off. So I said:

I always wonder what these kind of threads are supposed to accomplish.

Do you want flocks of people to rush in and say, "WE LOVE YOU, DON'T GO WE WILL BEAR YOUR CHILDREN YOU STUDLY MANGOD"? If so, that's really, really, really pathetic.

Do you think we're going to change because someone of your AWESOME!@##% caliber came in and said, "This place is oh-so-off-topic and doesn't meet my standard of what a message board about stupid garbage should be. I'm leaving"? Are we supposed to realize the error of our ways and shape up? "Why, yes! Sid was right! We're not discussing the enormous size of Sid's testicles enough! We sure love Sid!" Are you going to come back, see that every thread meets your approval and pat yourself on the back?

HINT: If you hate us and want to leave, GO THE HELL AWAY AND SHUT THE HELL UP

Don't post some weepy "I hate you all" message and storm out like some drama queen little kid. Don't bang your fist on the ground and point out how dumb or ugly or fat we are and how much we tattle on you all the time and how you hate our stupid guts. JUST GO AWAY.

Erase the place from your bookmarks. Forget the URL. Stop coming. Go somewhere else. DO NOT WHINE TO US ABOUT YOUR PETTY STUPID BLOODY PROBLEMS WITH THE BOARD YOU STUPID ATTENTION WHORE



Then he came back with a bunch of garbage that ended with:

that was my statement - i'm drunken btw

now go fuck off (someone forced me to say this)

end of transmission

So I replied with:


I thought you had left, and yet somehow you came back! I thought you hated this place and it was time to go! And yet here you are!

Were you looking for the ass-kissing pleas that you stay? Or were you hoping that we would turn around so quickly at your say-so?

Originally posted by sid:
A bunch of whiny shit

That's all well and good, and in fact, all perfectly legitimate reasons for leaving. I'm not going to argue with you on that. A lot of people seem to have problems with the fact that a community like this is going to evolve as time goes on. I bet if you left and came back in six months, it would be completely different than it is now. Maybe better, maybe worse. I don't know. I don't have a problem with the fact that you have problems with this board. Hell, I have problems with this board. There's all sorts of inane, ridiculous, unfunny crap on here all the time. So you are completely justified in what you're doing.

BUT. . .

(and you knew this was coming)

. . . WHY in the world do you feel the need to proclaim to everyone that you're going to leave? Are you trying to shame us or make us feel bad or what? I don't understand. It's childish, it's puerile, it's juvenile, and various other synonyms.

Also posted by sid:
that was my statement - i'm drunken btw

That doesn't shock me at all.





Of course everyone misunderstood what I was saying, which led to people asking me why I hated Sid. And so I wrote the salty fries post. Here it is:

I'm going to be perfectly frank. I don't have anything against sid at all. Nor do I have anything against his decision to leave. I thought I made that clear in my post. For God's sake, I put it in huge font what my whole point was, and yet people seemed to gloss over it every time and just rush to label me an asshole. Let me say it again: I don't have a single damn thing against Sid. I don't know Sid. Who knows? If I did, maybe we'd be best friends. Maybe I'd marry his sister and live happily ever after in the Sid family.

I've reread my comments in that thread, and I still can't find a single place where I say anything about Sid specifically. There are no direct attacks on his person, but rather (and this is the crucial point, mofos) my attacks are all against what he did, which is to say, posting a thread saying we don't meet his standards anymore, goodbye, suckers. Do you see the difference? Read what I said again. What am I commenting on? Not Sid. But rather the validity of those kind of threads. What are they to accomplish? What CAN they accomplish.

To explain further, let me give you an illustration. Let's say you eat at a particular Hardee's everyday because you like the Frisco Burger. You order the Frisco Burger with fries, and gradually you become displeased with the salt content of the fries, and you decide you no longer wish to purchase food at this Hardee's. Do you simply stop going to Hardee's, or do you go back and say, "So long, Hardee's! Your fries no longer meet my standards! They are low-quality fries!" while standing on a chair in the midst of a bunch of customers who probably DO enjoy the fries? Are the other customers going to reach a moment of epiphany? "My God! He's right! These fries ARE too salty! Screw you, Hardee's, I'm going to Burger King!" No, most likely, those eating and enjoying their food would probably rather that the displeased customer just shut up and go away. If you don't like the fries at Hardee's, just fucking stop going to Hardee's.

Now, you may argue that he simply wanted to make people aware of the reason that he wasn't going to be around. Okily dokily. I can see posting, "I won't be around anymore, guys. E-mail me if you need to talk." However, throwing in, "This board is too stupid and off-topic for me now," is an insult to those who decide to remain at the board and was totally unnecessary. Whether you choose to believe that or not, that statement is a slight against the whole board and everyone who posts here.

And THAT is why I posted what I did. And for those of you who ignored this post because of all the words, I will sum up:


I hope that clears it up for you.

I hope you enjoyed Benito's Id-Relieving Rant Theater.

Join us again next time.

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